Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Behind The Baby

Its been a long and emotional day... all good though.
Our sono went well and we are SOOO happy to announce that in 20 more weeks we will be welcoming a 


To our family. How sweet is that??? Our count will now be 5 girls and 2... TWO boys!

Hubby was ecstatic. He may or may not have hollered out loud, fist pumped, punched the air and declared his love for the ultrasound tech. He audibly praised God, squeezed my arm and hollered some more. It was a happy moment for us. And for a brief few moments, in a world dominated by social openness...
It was beyond special to share it just between us.

Although, just like I said in my earlier POST, I felt like I was just confirming what I already knew. For my long time followers, your all are well aware of my history of pregnancy losses... so when I first saw those 2 lines confirmed on Christmas Day, I was already setting myself up for loss. It wasn't until the next day that for a brief 7 seconds, I heard a stillness in my soul confirm that I would keep this baby and it would be a boy. For those split seconds, I had complete peace and confidence. 

I came out of the room and told my hubby what just happened...not wanting to say it was "God." NOT because I didn't believe it could happen, but because I am a firm believer in not throwing "God told me..." around. As women, (myself first on the list) I think we are too emotional and sometimes get the two confused.... Only to be proven wrong and be labeled "the wacky holy roller." 

You wont catch me in casual conversation claiming God spoke this and that, after all, before I put words in HIS mouth, I am going to be darn sure they are HIS words, make sense?

Anyway, whenever fear crept in, I prayed that I would use that moment as comfort and deep in my soul, I just knew I would be holding a son this summer.

Today's day of joy for us was shadowed by many other thoughts and emotions as well. As I saw my healthy baby bounce around on screen, I had the faces of many women close to me on my heart who are currently struggling to be where I am, right at this moment. Friends who visit infertility clinics instead of OB's, Ladies who are on bed rest from just losing their precious baby and other friends who are still emotionally healing from their losses as well.

I prayed that they too, could be where I am one day soon.... sooner than later. Although, I am desperately thankful that as of today... right now... I closed that season of my life. I hope I can be celebrating with them.

But today, we will be doing our own celebrating. Pizza and eggplant parmesan from our favorite Italian restaurant. My cell phone has not stopped going off from all the good news on Facebook, Twitter and text messages and I am soaking it all in. I am so thankful to be able to share another blessing with so many people....

and a name??

Caleb Benjamin of course.




  1. This is such GREAT news! PTL!!!

  2. LOVE Benjamin! That is Boston's middle name. So very happy for you. God IS wonderful. I had not heard your story- Thank you for sharing, my eyes filled with tears as I read your blog. I'm so happy for you and your wonderful family :)

  3. Oh wow!! Congratulations to you and your family! Such a sweet, special day for you... And a sweet name. :)

  4. I am so very happy for you guys! What a blessing! I love his name and thank you for sharing your story. I feel so much of what you are going through. xoxo

  5. So awesome!! Praise God for your good news!! Prayers for you and all those you are praying for, and <3 the name! Enjoy your celebrating.

  6. So happy for you guys and this was so well written.
    I love what you said about the other mothers.

  7. Congratulations on another baby to hold in your arms some months down the road. That is great and will be keeping you in my prayers. I love the name as well.

  8. I love the name Caleb, but I'm a bit partial...that's my first son's name! ;) Congrats on having a boy!

  9. Congratulations!! I love the name Caleb!!

  10. Congrats on another boy!! I know exactly what you mean when you said you felt a stillness in your spirit which assured you that you would keep the baby and that it will be a boy. I had a similar experience, except it assured me I was pregnant even before I missed a period and that it was the girl I had been hoping and praying for. The ultrasound for me too only confirmed what I knew in my heart. After 3 boys believing it was a girl was a faith I had to hold on to. I too after hearing the news thought about those who work so hard to have and keep their babies. I felt truely blessed.
    Once again congrats to you and your hubby. (the dad reactions are always the best)



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