Its been a long and emotional day... all good though.
Our sono went well and we are SOOO happy to announce that in 20 more weeks we will be welcoming a
To our family. How sweet is that??? Our count will now be 5 girls and 2... TWO boys!
Hubby was ecstatic. He may or may not have hollered out loud, fist pumped, punched the air and declared his love for the ultrasound tech. He audibly praised God, squeezed my arm and hollered some more. It was a happy moment for us. And for a brief few moments, in a world dominated by social openness...
It was beyond special to share it just between us.
Although, just like I said in my earlier POST, I felt like I was just confirming what I already knew. For my long time followers, your all are well aware of my history of pregnancy losses... so when I first saw those 2 lines confirmed on Christmas Day, I was already setting myself up for loss. It wasn't until the next day that for a brief 7 seconds, I heard a stillness in my soul confirm that I would keep this baby and it would be a boy. For those split seconds, I had complete peace and confidence.
I came out of the room and told my hubby what just happened...not wanting to say it was "God." NOT because I didn't believe it could happen, but because I am a firm believer in not throwing "God told me..." around. As women, (myself first on the list) I think we are too emotional and sometimes get the two confused.... Only to be proven wrong and be labeled "the wacky holy roller."
You wont catch me in casual conversation claiming God spoke this and that, after all, before I put words in HIS mouth, I am going to be darn sure they are HIS words, make sense?
Anyway, whenever fear crept in, I prayed that I would use that moment as comfort and deep in my soul, I just knew I would be holding a son this summer.
Today's day of joy for us was shadowed by many other thoughts and emotions as well. As I saw my healthy baby bounce around on screen, I had the faces of many women close to me on my heart who are currently struggling to be where I am, right at this moment. Friends who visit infertility clinics instead of OB's, Ladies who are on bed rest from just losing their precious baby and other friends who are still emotionally healing from their losses as well.
I prayed that they too, could be where I am one day soon.... sooner than later. Although, I am desperately thankful that as of today... right now... I closed that season of my life. I hope I can be celebrating with them.
But today, we will be doing our own celebrating. Pizza and eggplant parmesan from our favorite Italian restaurant. My cell phone has not stopped going off from all the good news on Facebook, Twitter and text messages and I am soaking it all in. I am so thankful to be able to share another blessing with so many people....
and a name??
Caleb Benjamin of course.