I do know that through it God has been so good. He never once promised life would be easy. He never once said... during His time on earth and in the bible that you would breeze through life if you were a follower and believer in Him. BUT He does promise to guide you through. He does promise to hold you, He does promise to catch every tear you cry in your hand. Everyone is familiar with the poem "Footprints." Perhaps it would be a good time to re-read that poem. How true it is. I have seen God's hands in so many things this past day. In small things and in big things He has shown me that He is there with me. The verse from Philippians 4:6,7 ---
"be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; AND THE PEACE OF GOD, WHICH SURPASSES ALL UNDERSTANDING, WILL GUARD YOUR HEARTS AND MINDS THRU CHRIST JESUS."
This verse kept popping in my head today. I am living proof of this verse. I have felt an inexplicable peace today that I can't describe. Don't get me wrong. I have cried more tears than humanly possible. I have hurt so bad and I know that has just begun. BUT I know He gave me peace in dealing with this loss. I was scared and nervous about today but I had peace about why. I have peace. Its not the drugs, its not shock, its peace. He has held my hand today and will continue to do so as my family grieves. There will be great days and many nights of tears but a very living God will be there to help me.
My prayer to all of you is to not be bitter and not be mad. If I as this baby's Mommy can still praise God for all His goodness even through this storm then I ask you that instead of cursing to just pray. Pray that God also gives you peace and some sort of understanding. If you seek it, it will be given.