Thursday, October 2, 2008

WHY?

This word has been heard a lot in the last 24 hours. It has been asked and sometimes even prayed. I have no answers. I don't know why and I don't understand. Our family is suffering the loss of our baby. The kids are hurting. My husband hurts and my heart will never be the same. This sad loss has shaken us but will make us stronger. This baby was kissed and sang to and talked to and rubbed by many hands. Big.... and small.
 I do know that through it God has been so good. He never once promised life would be easy. He never once said... during His time on earth and in the bible that you would breeze through life if you were a follower and believer in Him. BUT He does promise to guide you through. He does promise to hold you, He does promise to catch every tear you cry in your hand. Everyone is familiar with the poem "Footprints." Perhaps it would be a good time to re-read that poem. How true it is. I have seen God's hands in so many things this past day. In small things and in big things He has shown me that He is there with me. The verse from Philippians 4:6,7 ---

"be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; AND THE PEACE OF GOD, WHICH SURPASSES ALL UNDERSTANDING, WILL GUARD YOUR HEARTS AND MINDS THRU CHRIST JESUS."

This verse kept popping in my head today. I am living proof of this verse. I have felt an inexplicable peace today that I can't describe. Don't get me wrong. I have cried more tears than humanly possible. I have hurt so bad and I know that has just begun. BUT I know He gave me peace in dealing with this loss. I was scared and nervous about today but I had peace about why. I have peace. Its not the drugs, its not shock, its peace. He has held my hand today and will continue to do so as my family grieves. There will be great days and many nights of tears but a very living God will be there to help me.

My prayer to all of you is to not be bitter and not be mad. If I as this baby's  Mommy can still praise God for all His goodness even through this storm then I ask you that instead of cursing to just pray. Pray that God also gives you peace and some sort of understanding. If you seek it, it will be given.

 

5 comments:

  1. Amy - I was heartbroken to her the news (Valerie called me today) I'm terribly sad and devastated! I want you to know I have been praying for you and the family! Your blog post is inspiring! Your strength, faith and relationship with God is amazing! We are so blessed to have Him in our lives to carry us through the pain and trials we have in this life. I'm so grateful He is there for you and your family! What would we do without Him! I know that nothing I can say will help the pain - but I want you to know I love you and I'm praying for you!
    (I don't want to bother you during this hard time - call me when you are feeling up to it.)

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  3. Oh, Amy! So true and beautiful. Our God is wonderful and amazing. We are truly blessed that we know it. Not everyone does. I think your testimony may help lead others to him. Yell it as loud and as often as you can. I am so sorry for the loss of your baby. I know there is an empty spot in your heart and in your family. There is great comfort in knowing your baby is with God and there is no more wonderful place, but my heart aches for you without her (him). You are a strong person my friend and I am praying very, very, hard for you guys.

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  4. Amy - words are hard to come by during a time like this. I am so very grateful to God that you are praising Him during this!! So many people would easily cuss & run and turn from Him in a time like this. Your faith is so strong and you know who is in control. I pray that he shows you direction. I am thankful he has already given you peace.

    You know there are lots of people praying for you!

    Hugs to you & the family!!!

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  5. what an awesome testimony to God you are, our prayers have been with you guys all week, The song by Casting crowns just comes to mind right now "Praise you in this storm" such an awesome song, God is being glorified during the hard times and He really holds every tear we have all cried in His hands.
    xoxoxo

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