Sunday, February 10, 2013

Matters Of The Heart

Betcha didn't know that huh?

Prior to August 23rd, I would have worn green because it was my new favorite color. Not the dark green, but the nice minty, funky green. I couldn't get enough...

Today I wear it as a reminder that I am a survivor. I beat a hard set of odds and I lived to tell the tale on how my perfectly healthy heart began to fail. Quickly.... Because I had a baby.

Back in September, I gave y'all a quick synopsis of what happened after the birth and delivery of my last baby Caleb. But I never told my full story. A story that forever changed how I view my life. Im not sure why I have not blogged about this sooner. But Last night I realized that TODAY was the day...
It was time to step up and tell my story. To everyone.... and start my journey of educating everyone that I come in contact with about a silent killer. Its favorite victim is a new mom... a healthy mom, and for over 50% of the women that it strikes, will die. 

Many just collapse and are found by their husbands....

But let me back track just a bit...

To the day before August 23rd... when I was sitting up in bed trying to sleep. After a hard and difficult delivery, I ended up having an emergency c-section. My first one. Thank God my mother-in-law was staying with us. Without her to help with my recovery, I don't know how I would have gotten through. It was all new to me, But I wasn't sure the chest pain was part of the recovery process. It got worse when I layed down. Any slight reclining position cause extreme pressure in my chest and I felt as if my heart wold beat right out of my throat.

Was it hormones? Recovery from the surgery? Perhaps the meds... either way, I kept going. 


Was what I kept telling myself. But I was SO tired. So so tired. I just wanted to sleep but I couldn't. Every time I laid down the pressure got worse. So there I slept, propped up with 4 pillows. My left arm hurt too... and my hands felt weak.
But Im fine. I just need sleep... Its been a rough recovery.

My swelling from all my iv's would NOT go away. My legs began looking like tree trunks. Im drinking water like I should, but they just won't go down.
The next day, we took Caleb into the pediatrician for his weight check. We are quite friendly with Dr. V due to the various visits with Penelope. We exchanged c-section stories and laughed that after 6 natural births, Caleb came with a bang. She left to get me some formula samples when hubby turns to me and says...

"Just ask her, she had 3 sections. Ask her if these symptoms are normal."

I didn't want to. I tend to be a bit of a hypochondriac and knew I was over-reacting But right before she left to go on to her next patient. I grabbed her ear...
"You need to call your dr. right away... seriously. Sounds like a clot."

I managed to hold myself together until we walked to the van and then the tears started. Deep down I knew something was wrong and I was scared. The nurse told me to go straight to the hospital....
And thats just what we did. Crying... the.Whole.Time.

Immediately the nurse told my husband to take the baby home. The E.R. was filled with flu's and viruses. I cried even harder as my husband promised to come back after he took my newborn away. 
All I could do was think these words...

Female dr please...

And in walked a young, curly haired Dr. Through my sobs she assured me she didn't think I was crazy but tests needed to be done.

I couldn't stop crying. Between fear, wanting to come home, my baby being away from me, the wires and tubes....
I cried and cried and cried till my eyes started to swell.
Hubby came back , and we waited. Cat scans were done and eventually they took me off the monitors.

Well thats a good sign right?

The curly haired doctor came in and pulled up a chair. She talked clear and slow as she assured me I didn't have a blood clot....

You might have had a heart attack

But most likely you have PPCM

I had something called Peripartum  Cardiomyopathy...

Waa Waa Waa

Thats about all I heard.
I was laid back on the table.

We have to get you back on the monitors hun, your in heart failure...


Your being admitted and transferred downtown to the Heart hospital.

A team of specialists are waiting for you.

Your husband will meet you there.

The crying began again. I couldn't stop . I couldn't die. Not now. How would my kids go on with life without me? I began to pray that God would watch over my kids for the rest of their life, since I would not be alive to pray over them.
I texted my sister. She knew exactly what I had, she is a nurse and took care of heart patients all the time. But I couldn't process her words. She assured me I wouldn't just drop dead... But I didn't believe her. She said without treatment I would die but they need certain tests to see how bad my heart failure was and whether the damage was enough to need a heart  transplant...


To be continued... 







  1. I am thankful that you are sharing your story & bringing awareness to PPCM. I love you&am so thankful for you.

  2. Thank you for sharing! Looking forward to the rest of the story...

  3. Just so you don't wonder who Paul is... For some reason it wouldn't let me comment, unless under my husband's account.

    Carolyn Weaver

    1. LOL thanks for clearing that up.LOL

  4. This is so hard to read and when I do it makes me cry all over again.
    Love you.

  5. Wow...Thank you for putting your story out there. I had no idea there was ever a chance of this happening.

    New follower here


  6. no wonder you took a blogging break after all that! Whew! I'm so glad this story ends well!

    1. Thanks... yes, I was too mentally shot to put 2 words

  7. Wow. Just wow. I am in tears. I hadn't heard of this,but am so thankful to know now of this possibility. Thank you for sharing and I look forward to reading more.



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