Through Infertility and Beyond.

My very sophisticated office

 

Most of my Thursday afternoon was spent at my workstation...well, my Bar top, in my kitchen, amongst my 7 kids and the mess. With piles of mail to my right and a million interruptions. I had writers block... about 10 MUST post pictures and a VERY delicate subject. I had decided long ago that I wanted to chronicle a dear friends struggle. Her journey. A very private one. A subject some find taboo and others hide.

Infertility...

But for my friend Michelle, she struggled in silence. See, she has 3 children, and according to the world, she should be done. I mean, at least she HAS kids right? Just be happy with the children she was blessed with, Maybe its not Gods will for her to have any more... and most of all, WHY ON EARTH WOULD SHE WANT MORE???

In a world where the blessings of babies are replaced by corporate climbing, and the burning desire to receive one of the greatest gifts this universe can hold, lies women very much like Michelle. Lost in the shuffle of the infertility realm. Lost in the world of secondary infertility. Disregarded by infertility support groups due to her living children but carries the same pain of those without babies of their own.

Recently, she guest blogged about her 3 year struggle. She wrote about her pregnancy loss and her 5 failed IUI'S ( intra uterine insemination.)

My first " Real" conversation with Michelle was during her Loss of her 12 week pregnancy. That was the Fall of 2009. I had recently gone thru my own brief season of losses and remember that pain But I was finally pregnant with my Penelope. It was nice to support someone who experienced the same issues... and I have been there ever since. Running over pregnancy tests when she thought she was pregnant, but getting a negative. Exploring IUI'S and having insemination wing night parties...

I was there when she would tell me that they failed... each and every time. Even after she needed an emergency D&C after one procedure and had a heart reaction with another one.

So why wouldn't I be there to chronicle her biggest life changing decision? And with her permission, I will share with YOU... as she takes her first steps down the road to IVF (In-vetro fertilization.) A journey that took everything in her to start. And a journey that I will be sharing with my readers every Friday, in hopes it gives support to other women who are going through the same thing... or think they can't. For women who know what its like to throw themselves on the temple stairs and cry so loud in anguish because their bodies have failed to give them the one thing they desire most....

YAAAA the day was HERE!!!!!

Yesterday was the day! The day she had been waiting for, for over 2 years!!!! And a day she NEVER imagined having to EVER experience. Her FIRST IVF consultation. Like a good friend, I left my kids at home and jumped in her mini-van to join her. I had no clue what this is all about, but she told me she needs to take about 2 billion injections and a few pills, so another mind would be wonderful to help remember what shot goes where.

The office was empty, with beautiful pictures of newborns adorning the walls. I couldn't help but imagine the thousands of women who sat where Michelle was... wondering if THIS place would help them. Coming here as a last resort.

A sweet young nurse named Lindsey called us back and we sat in a very plain room where she began to pull out paper after paper of medicines, schedules of what shot to take when, which one gets mixed with what shot, the Long needles go in the Butt, the smaller needles go in the stomach. 2 at night and 2 in the morning. This medication had a pen, this medication had 2 vials that get mixed into 1 vial....

My hand just kept going, as Nurse Lindsey talked, I tried to capture her every word. What I really needed was a tape recorded... My phone has that but I didn't think soon enough.. I kinda got distracted a bit too....

My Fertility notes...

Michelle just kept nodding, " ok, Yes... OK, Uh-huh... " I could see she was getting overwhelmed. I would too, if I had to remember all of this, but luckily, since I wasn't the one having to inject myself, My mind was not as overloaded and I pretty much remembered everything she said. Lindsey kept talking and I kept writing...Dates of what to start taking and when, 2 inches over from the belly button on either side, This day you come in for bloodwork, that day a sono, 2 days later more blood... VERY time sensitive, the patch, always wear the patch, Some will come with dried ice, some stored in fridge, some remain on counter, call if you mess up...

" you understand it all???"

Um....

Yeah, I was amazed at science. For all the craziness that has taken over the world, THIS.... this very process of helping life was just as amazing and special as the medical science that we all use to SAVE life....

Lindsey then gave us a tour of the procedure room where they retrieve the eggs and then transfer them. Surprisingly, its done IN OFFICE! And, it was just on the other side of the wall where we just sat.

I got so excited and tried not to embarrass Michelle by doing a full blown happy dance right in the OR. It was HERE where her baby would come to be!!! It would be HERE that her journey would be completed and a new journey of motherhood start.... something that she had dreamed about and cried about for over THREE long years...

And she is letting ME in... And I am humbled...

And I will be documenting it all, her hopes, her fears, her injections, the egg retrieval and the transfer... her baby's first picture in the dish...

So, would you join me friends?? Would you join me by supporting and loving my friend as I document and support her through secondary infertility and beyond?

XoXo

GiGI