Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Drugs Or No Drugs...

BEWARE... LONG POST AHEAD.

Oh the time has come to really start thinking about that wonderful sweet day I get to hold my sweet P. in my arms... it also comes minutes AFTER I have to go thru one of those dreaded days of labor...

I know what your thinking... this is my SIXTH kid...the baby should walk out. I should be a pro... but actually is quite the opposite. I miss the naive days of baby #1. Where I had no clue and walked into the labor room as blind as a bat.

The thing is, I know to much. I have been there and done that. I know what works, what hurts and what EXACTLY I will dread. Get my drift?

I am NOT by any means a "natural child-birther." I will NEVER birth at home. I believe that babies need to be born in a hospital and I need to have access to all the drugs they will let enter my body to numb me from the horrific, hip tearing pain. I know plenty of natural birthers and tip my hat to them. My good friend has had most of her babies at home... I stand in awe. NOT envy. I don't try to persuade her thinking as long as she doesn't tread on mine =)

I have had ALL sorts of birthing experiences... all involving epidurals, demerol and even IV cocktails. Sometimes the epi was too late and I was forced into "natural" labor, others worked like a charm. Some worked only on half my body and some gave me hot spots... my stories are endless. I still want to hug and kiss the anesthesiologist as he walks thru my door. Other times I was afraid that if he didn't stop asking me questions I would stick the needle in my back myself. I have also requested him as I checked in the registrars office. (you know, like room service... 1 tall needle with drugs on the side... room 3244 Thanks)

But this time around things are a bit different. Im SOOO nervous. Well, thats not different. Im always a nervous wreck before D-day. Im afraid something will go HORRIBLY wrong and I won't make it thru. I'll be that .5%. My husband thinks im NUTS but I always remind him that somebody has to be that .5% ya know???

Im really second guessing that epi. I have been inundated since baby #5 with horror stories about faulty epi's being administered resulting in near death and death for mom. Last year our Homeschooling community mourned the loss of a great mom of 5 during labor due to complications. It can happen. No to mention my poor back has seen better days. My hubby can count endless needle scars from being stuck so many times. (cause you know they can't get it right the first time.) My back is SHOT! My recovery is usually easy peasy. I have my *requests* (demands) during labor.... NO episiotomy, NO vacuum, NO forceps unless someones life depends on it. The worse part of my recovery has always been the epi spot. My back hurts soooo bad. Worse than my bottom!!! What the heck??!!

But can I really endure the labor pain? Please don't give me the "Its natural" blah blah blah stuff. I've had 5 kids remember?? I KNOW that pain. I know intense back pain. I REMEMBER that I described my pain as if someone was ripping my hips apart with pliers. k?! I also swore on my hospital bed that I wold NEVER EVER have more children because the pain was that bad. Nothin natural about that if you ask me. Have you read Genesis?? It was one of God's curses on women when he kicked them out of the garden of Eden. So how prey-tell is that natural.???!!!!!

But alas, here I am again. At a huge crossroads. Not knowing what to do. Ive chatted with my doctors, drawn up a birth plan and even got permission granted for an induction.(again, quick labors....) But I am still sooo uneasy with the thought of another epi... More than uneasy. VERY FEARFILLED UNEASY.

Ive been praying ALOT about this. Trying to describe my perfect birth plan to God. Telling Him..."Well, Lord, if you can have it just go like this and this then it will be ok..." I reminded Him of my friend THE CHATTY MOMMY who had a similar request and she ended up giving birth in her BATHROOM just hours after she was eating at my kitchen table... I kindly reminded GOD of that too... we DON'T need 2 stories like that.GRANTED, I have a master suite but I NEVER intended to use it as a birthing suite...

How silly HE must think I am. As if the creator of the universe needs help in my birth. As if HE already doesn't have the perfect plan for me ALREADY figured out . I really need to change my prayer.... For HIM to take away my fear and take over this labor. But most of all... Take away this fear!!!

For all you preggo mama's out there....

what are YOUR birth plans?Epi? No Epi? or all of the above?

And if you comment, check back. This time I WILL answer them in the comment section.

Xoxo

29 comments:

  1. Hmmm... LOL. I find an area where we differ! :D Everyone is different. Not sure what I'm gonna tell you or comment yet... I'm gonna think on it!

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  2. I have only had 3 precious miracles....and have had 3 epis! I would NOT have done it any other way....but I can totally understand where you're coming from! I was always afraid of the needle before I got it....but so happy for it after! :o) I will not have another baby, but you can be sure that if I were....there would be plans for an epi! Pray through it....and if you don't have the peace, don't do it! God knows more than you do....it won't be worth the turmoil if you don't have the peace about it! I don't know if I actually helped any....

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  3. I always do the Epidural, if I can. And I'm always nervous too. And I tell Brian the same thing about someone needing to be that ".5%".

    First five birth were beautiful. Ben's birth was traumatic. Judah was breech. We scheduled (our first) c-section. We were happy Baby would be easily and surely taken from my body. When we went in for the c-section/delivery, OB doc wanted to do an ultrasound just to make sure he hadn't flipped again and we could go naturally. He had. We almost told her we didn't care...we'll go with the operation anyway...but, we didn't. And God had it all under control.

    Things will go exactly the way they are supposed to, no matter what you decide. Try not to worry (ya, right:). Give it to God. Enjoy the last few months of your pregnancy.

    Oh, and get the Epidural!!!

    :)
    Kathi
    Mom of 7

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  4. I'm at a similar crossroads. I've always been induced, but never had an epi. Yes, it hurts like heck, but as you said, it's a fast labor. My husband said last time that he couldn't handle another labor without an epidural. I'm thinking maybe if I'm not induced the contractions at the end may not be quite so bad. I've heard it both ways. But, the decision to not induce would be huge, maybe too huge. I have big babies, which is why I always get induced at 38 weeks. What to do, what to do? Personally, I'm praying I'll go into labor at 37.5 weeks before I would be induced (at 38). That way the decision will be made for me.

    I'll be interested to see what you decided to do.

    Celee

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  5. I've had one epi, one completely natural and 2 (unfortunately) C-sections. In my personal experience, I would have gone natural with all 4 if I was able to do so. I loved the birthing experience, and was so happy that I committed myself to no pain meds with the second and stuck to it.

    Now, you could ask a hundred different women and get 100 different opinions. It all boils down to you, your body and God. Like you said, God has your perfect birthing plan worked out already.

    I can tell you through my many different births, it doesn't matter how your precious sweetie gets here, it feels the same when you put her in your arms for the first time. Sending prayers your way!

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  6. my little sister got her epi just as soon as she entered the hospital..she was shocked cause they usually give it to you when you really need it..but its the way they did it this time..she said her delivery was the easiest she has ever done..she is 45 and this is her 3rd..I don't have any so..can't tell you...but I would continue to pray to take away your fear..;)..take care and keep us posted.:)

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  7. I think that if you feel that worried about it that it may be the HOly Spirit giving you that feeling for a reason. I have had four natural childbirths (8.3,8.6,9,and 9.9lbs) because I am afraid of the epi needle. I have always been afraid of being in that tiny percent of something going wrong. It is hard to get through the pain, but the absolute WORST of the pain only lasts a few minutes and then that sweet baby's face makes you forget all of that. During my last delivery, I had everyone in the room (mom, sister..and hubby singing.."When I call on Jesus") lol It is difficult, but I wouldn't change a thing. Good luck in your decision, and I will be praying for your peace.

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  8. I've had one epi and one without (on purpose) and I can honestly say my birth was better without the drugs. What was different? The fear. You have to let go of the fear. Fear = pain. You have to have a relaxation plan. You have to be prepared for how its going to feel. You have to WANT a natural birth to begin with.

    Also, I saw my sister get a spinal headache from her epi and promised myself I would never get it again!

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  10. Boy, this is a hot topic! I love talking about childbirth experiences with other moms. There are as many types of birth experiences as there are children.

    I was always intent on having natural, med-free childbirths. Well, with my first I had just about every intervention under the sun...including an epidural.

    With my second son, I again wanted to try all-natural, but my confidence was a bit shaken and I ended up getting an epidural...only to deliver about 45 minutes later.

    My last two I had without any meds. Yes. It hurt. A lot. But, for me, I wouldn't trade the experiences.

    For me, being confined to the bed makes labor totally unbearable. Luckily I found a hospital that allowed me to get up an move around.

    The tub/shower combination was a good place for me. With my last son, when the labor really started kicking in, I pretty much isolated myself in the in suite bathroom. I alternated between sitting, standing, rocking, being submerged in the tub, and standing under the shower water.

    It also took my last labor for me to realize I labor best alone. While I was in the tub I had no distractions. I could concentrate solely on getting through a contraction and my movements. I also find being vocalthrough contractions helped.

    Anyway, this turned into quite a long comment. All this to say, it doesn't matter how much planning you do. Labors almost always seem to take unexpected turns.

    I say go with the flow and do what works for you.

    Oh, and I am with you on hospital births. Homebirth appeals to me in theory. But, the reality of it is, I enjoy the couple days in the hospital where I don't have to worry about ANYTHING and people bring me what I need!

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  11. My daughter is having the same delimia you are. After talking to lots and lots of other moms, she has decided to have an epidural. This is her first baby, so she really has nothing to base it on. When I had her, I went completely natural ~ that's why I only had one!! LOL. Just keep praying about it and God will give you the answer. Remember: let the peace of God rule your heart!!
    Blessings,
    ~Rene~

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  12. WOW, thank you for all your comments. I am so thankful for all your words of advice. I soaked them all in and look forward to more.
    Kate- I would LOVE to hear how you differ. What is your birth plan and any advice for someone like me who just might"try" and go without a beloved epi???

    Sweetnspicy- Of course you helped. ;) Your so right PRAY for peace... I think thats the key here. Enjoy your puppy.

    Kathi-You made me laugh. NOT at your birth stories but your words of wisdom at the very end. A big part of me just wants to say SURE, stick me.Labor does go so smooth when your numb. I wish I had the confidence...

    CeLee-Im assuming you get pitocin when your induced?? That stuff is nasty. They say it doesn't increase contraction pain but I beg to differ!! (as im sure MANY other women do.) How fast are your labors? Have you considered getting your membranes stripped before hand? That has put me into active labor w/o pitocin.

    Chasity- Thanks for the advice. I just need to continue to pay thru and look forward to holding my sweet baby in my arms. I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!

    Gina- Yes, I have gotten an epi right away as well. I think its because I was already dilated enough. My dr says this time around, if I want, I can get one right after being admitted. LOL...My body kinda goes on auto pilot in my 9th month.

    Latoniar-WOW 4 natural... NO DRUGS.... your amazing. AND they were good size babies. Did you find that your last baby was more "easier" to labor thru than your first because your body knew what to do?

    Jess-Hmm, perhaps I should research birthing techniques and relaxation methods just in case?? Good idea. Thanks! =)

    Karen- I too think walking helps and make the contractions better than lying down. Lying down hurt MUCH worse. (this experienced in early labor) My problem is, when they started getting more painful, I felt as if my legs would collapse or I would pass out and I would wobble over to the bed and get drugs.I was afraid of falling flat out during a major contractions. YIKES. But like I told Jess, I think I might research some birthing techniques...

    Again... THANK YOU all for SO many words of wisdom. For all your preggo mamas, I will keep you in my prayers for an easy safe pregnancy and delivery and healthy baby. I can't wait to hear back in a few months on everyones birth experience and see everyones precious babies. How awesome. Then we can look back at this post and laugh at the silliness of being so afraid... (I speak for myself.=)))

    God Bless
    Xoxo

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  15. I completely understand the worries. I've had 5 children. 4 of them were induced with quick labors, and I had the epidural with all 5 of them. I guess I'm lucky because they've all worked great. Because I go fast, I've been encouraged to get them at the same time as they start the pitocin and that seems to work. Maybe you should pray for a good anesthesiologist! LOL

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  16. Okay... Here's my plan this time since you asked! :) I'm having a homebirth (my first) with a midwife. God willing, I'll labor in our bedroom/tub with no meds obviously. I've come to this conclusion after my three birth experiences. Although only three births, looking back it's black and white of how MY body labors in reaction to drugs and interventions vs. no drugs/interventions.

    Baby #1: 19 hour labor with the highest amount of pitocin available to "jump start" my labor 5 hours in after water breaking. Very slow progress, unbearable contractions on top of each other with no down time/rest between. Fully hoping for no drugs, I finally gave in to demerol (no pain management... only made me feel sleepy and "out" of it). Then epi as I couldn't do it any longer. Epi in, and shot up to 10 cm with very easy birth/pushing. My body couldn't relax enough and let the contractions work b/c they were too intense with the pitocin/pain. Nasty recovery for about 24 hours with all the drugs in my body mixed with hormones.

    Baby #2: 9 hour labor with no pitocin and no epi- all natural. Beautiful progression with walking not hooked up, near pain-free until transition. YES, it hurt at the end a lot, but went so smoothly and quickly with no "real" pain until the end when pushing and transition before. The most empowering and amazing feeling in my life to birth my baby this way. Wonderful recovery with no drug side effects.

    Baby #3: Not sure how long of labor, but probably around 10-12 hours, with pitocin and epi. Given pit again after not progressing satisfactory. Horrible contractions again, gave into epi (skipped demerol, since hated it with 1st baby), and then progressing well again with a quick delivery. Not too bad of a recovery even with drugs in system.

    Sooo... for MY body, I have more of a problem with the pitocin than the actual epidurals. I 100% KNOW that the pitocin is not a natural way for MY body to handle birthing. It makes my contractions unbearable, shutting my body down from doing any real work and progressing well. Only after I can relax from an epi, can my body usually progress very quickly to stage 2 pushing. My midwife says that any woman that can go natural after pitocin is a true superhero. I AGREE!! It's nasty and makes MY body shut down. I suppose that I could just be adament that NO pitocin go into my body at the hospital, but after an amazing natural birth, I wanted to take it a step further and do a homebirth, knowing that I could do it naturally and that it was so very rewarding for me. I'm looking very forward to it, and can't wait to see how this differs from a hospital setting. OF COURSE we have a back-up plan with hospital location and the midwife is trained for emergency and has supplies if need-be, but like I said, God willing... ;)

    I don't judge women who get drugs or want them. I DID!! I just know that MY body doesn't like them, lol! Everybody is different... Just listen to YOUR body, pray for peace and strength, and KNOW that everything will get you to holding that precious Sweet P. Maybe think about how pitocin has an effect on YOUR body and laboring too... ;)

    And one final note in this book-long comment... I really love those who administer anesthesia and practice modern medicine too. They are wonderful people and very much needed. I NEEDED them twice! :) My hubby is at school (work) this very second... What's he in school for?? Anesthesia! :D In one year, he will be the one giving those epis... So, yes, I loooove them and there is a BIG place for them. Just not in this birth plan... And I kid him about it, but he knows my body and how it births too. ;)

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  19. Sorry, sorry... My super-long comment glitched and posted itself 3 times!! There's no need for that... ;)

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  20. ok, well the bible says "fear not" 365 times- one for each day of the year- so you need to latch on to each scripture, remember fear, takes away our faith-God is the God of the impossible, far more creative then we can imagine- He has taken you to this- so He will take you through it!!! I personally went with epi's for all 3, but 2 were too late- and I was fine- I almost died with the last one- and it had nothing to do with labor- so yes, anything can happen. But we are to focus on the positive, count our blessings one by one. I will be praying for you- Everything will be perfect, and you will soon forget all about this whole thing as soon as Sweet P is in your arms!!! xoxo

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  21. Kate- my posts ended up posting 3 times too. Blogger is weird today. Im glad you have a finalized plan. Pitocin is pure EVIL ad I don't think any womans body reacts to it well. It makes labor a total nightmare ( and I believe is the source of many labor horror stories.) But of cours is the flip side, for those women who must have it to get their baby out and in the hands of NICU nurses. Ahhh, modern medicine. How bittersweet.
    I also agree with you on the demerol.
    As my hubby would say, Im wound up tighter than a rubber band and that is proven even further in labor. During labor im so tense and nervous my body DOES NOT progress even with pit. Its after he epi that I go from 3-10 in minutes. My recoveries have been great minus a very sore back from the needle. (and numb legs =p)
    But im so happy for you and your definite plan and confidence. I need that. Plase write back after you have your sweet baby and let us know how it went. Very curious!!

    Benzowife... 3 guesses I know who you are... actually Im confident I only need one guess. Thanks for the reminder. I need those 365 verses... plastered on my wall. Love ya girl...

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  22. Well, I have had 9 babies natural. I was given pitocin with about half of them, but never had an epidural. I would not trade the experience for anything. As an RN, I had seen epidurals administered and heard many horror stories, so I decided with my first to go natural. I've never had a homebirth and wouldn't want to, but did have a midwife for 3. Kate, this being your sixth baby, I think you will do great going natural. My sixth labor was pretty short and I litterally pushed her out with one push. The doctor barely made it! Practice relaxing during the contractions (read a Bradley book to help). You will feel so awesome when it's over.........I promise. You won't have any epi sorenss or possible headaches and you will be able to get up quickly and walk around and you get this great adrenaline rush. Just remember when you go in the hospital that this is YOUR birth and you are in charge (well, really God) but not the doctors or the nurses. God will help you through it. And really the bad part comes right before the baby is born and you will actually feel the urge to push and work with your body. The pushing will be so much faster. Well, you asked for my opinion :o) Sorry to be so dogmatic. Blessings!

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  23. I just loved reading all those great comments!
    I am praying for you- you are going to be great.
    I tried with the last one to do no epi, but my body took so long to progress (I was induced early to avoid having the baby at home again!) that I caved in- got the epi and had the baby within 30 minutes!
    Just ask God to handle it and don't plan for anything.

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  24. You are hilarious. You had me rolling with your post about all your birthing stories. I can relate to most. I am with you... Give Me ALL the DRUGS you can. I hate pain. Very cute blog and I love the side bar with all the funny/cute sayings.

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  25. I forgot to mention the most important thing. I will keep you in my prayers and I look forward to seeing how the Lord is going to Bless you and your Family.

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  26. wow---I can't believe how many comments. I would love to have that fast labor like 'chatty mommy'. I have had all great labors except the last one. I was that 1% that had a epi nightmare and thought I was gonna die and all the nurses and doctors had to rush into my room to save me and the baby. I am so scared of that happening again. I bought the book 'supernatural childbirth' and am really contending for that. But even when I get a gas pain I am like "OUCH". Yikes.

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  27. I am late for the discussion but LOVE hearing the other experiences of the mom's! I believe to each their own, because I have no idea what their labors are like. = )

    I had my first with a midwife with no pain meds and it was slow (almost 24 hours of active labor)

    Second one was late and the midwife "induced" him with herbs. Has anyone else tried this? you take them with your braxton hicks. It worked and it also sped labor up. I think it was 7 hours total. Had him in my claw foot tub (totally recommend)

    People say I'm brave and I tell them really, to me, I'm taking the easy way out because I am scared to death of hospitals, needles etc. pretty much I chicken out and stay locked away in my bedroom/bathroom/shower hiding from the big-bad doctor. LOL

    You pray and you do what's right for you and whatever you choose I'm sure it will be the right decision!

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  28. L♥ve births!
    Congratulations on numero 6!!!
    I believe that a mama should be empowered by the miraculous moment in which her body is a vessel to bring forth child. So perhaps it is a mindset, no?
    Personally, I am a home birther and an unassisted home birther at that BUT I do not discriminate! :P
    Each woman's experience is their own. We are blessed to live in a time when we have multiple options as to how to go about such a wonderful experience! No matter how,I think we all do well meditating on the Scripture "perfect love casts out fear".
    May you have peace and a healthy baby!

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