Friday, March 8, 2013

Because Of Queen Esther.

***WELCOME TO INFERTILITY FRIDAYS: SUPPORTING A FRIEND THRU SECONDARY INFERTILITY AND BEYOND. If your new.... catch up HERE ***

Im Linking up over at Casey's... Check it out

I had about 10 really valid reasons as to WHY I should not go to bible study last night. We were studying Beth Moore's " Esther." I enjoyed it but leaving my house a mess at the end of the day makes me twitch. I was tired, 10 tons of laundry STILL needed to be folded and put away, my house was messy... does anyone know what I'm talking about here?
But knowing my kids would hang me from our front tree if I stayed home, I packed everyone in the big white van and headed out...With a tired attitude!
It only took about 10 minutes into the video to realize I had another "God appointment." Beth Moore spoke on topics that shook me to the core... a topic that strikes most women.... FEAR! My hand couldn't write fast enough as I tried to write down every sentence that came out of that womans mouth. My head nodded as if it were a bobble head and I had to bite my tongue from constantly saying "Amen..Amen..Amen.."
Fear is something I battle viciously... and sometimes over the most stupidest things... It also made me SO MAD that Michelle wasn't sitting RIGHT NEXT to me... listening to these words. After the week that she had, she needed to hear How Queen Esther OVERCAME HERSELF and forever left a biblical example of VALOR! 
ONE day's worth of medicine


Last Friday ( after I posted week 2) began her VERY first morning injection. Her medicinal schedule starts off slow, then begins to increase over time, hitting a peak and then decreasing based on counts.
7 a.m was the big moment and our texts began....
That early morning text

"FRICK!!!"
I whispered to hubby that I would be right back, slipped on my slipper boots, grabbed my steaming mug of coffee and headed over. I might never forgive her for letting my neighbor drive by my house just as my bed-head self was walking across the lawn, but I'm sure she can make it up to me by naming her child after me.. hee hee...
I walked in to a girl filled with fear... afraid of a tiny 12 gauge needle sitting on the counter, deciding her fate.
She's not afraid of needles. Its whats inside that send shivers up her spine. almost Deadly reactions in her past had left scars that are now affecting her future...
Her husband and I joined forces with encouraging words, pep talks, countdowns... nothing seemed to work. John even offered to do the injection for her ( despite his strong urge to vomit and pass out..)
Before long, she was headed to work, the needle STILL sitting on the counter. Fear had won. No baby.
But at 10:05 am my phone chimed..

"INJECTION DONE!"

I couldn't believe what I was reading. Really?? Could it be? She had John bring it up to work for her and in the customer bathroom of her place of employment, another woman joined her village of support.

Cassie- who gave Michelle her VERY first injection... in the bathroom!

See, It really does take a village to navigate thru this life. It ain't easy and without those people to uplift you and support you when you can't support yourself, defeat comes quick.
36 years of fear was just overcome with one tiny prick. She overcame herself and entered into a new chapter of her life... and I was PROUD!
Friday night rolled around and I found myself at her house for her evening injection. John and the kids were off at a dance and the house was silent. There on her counter lay her night injection... and just like that, right before my eyes she loaded that sucker up and stuck herself... halfway. Then she did that 2 more times before finally hitting the mark on the 4th try...
I think I peed myself laughing so hard as she stood there wondering why she was bleeding so bad... and started counting her prick marks..

"1, 2 oh wait, heres another one... FOUR. HOW DID I STICK MYSELF FOUR TIMES..."

But the medicine was in and she was on a roll. Sunday night, 2 more injections were added to the list which made it a grand total of 2 injections in the morning and 2 at night.

Nurse Cindy learning how to properly mix the meds... and John trying to learn....

Nurse Cindy, a friend and former neighbor of Michelle came over to help mix one of the injections for her and has since shown up every night since then to mix and release. She is a great nurse... we met over 4 years ago on a very grim day. She made me smile as I was wheeled into surgery to say goodbye to my 14 week old baby... 2 years later, we met again as Michelle's neighbor... such a small little town this place is... and what an even better friend. Every night, five minutes to eight, she pulls up in front of the house, just in time to give Michelle her proper dose.... well, PROPER isn't exactly the word... It was just discovered TONIGHT that she was given Michelle only HALF the dose she needed... but more on that NEXT week. 

Nurse not-so-gentle who went digging for gold in Michelles arm


Nurse Cindy is definitely a part of this very unique and eclectic village.... which leaves me to the most colorful person who shows support in the most loving way.

My Aunt Diana. My Aunt Diana and Uncle Joe live 5 houses down from me. They provide wisdom and prayer at a moments notice... not to mention good good home cooking. They also watch Michelles kids while she works....

And Yesterday, Aunt Diana accompanied Michelle to her Drs visit. More blood work and more ultrasounds took up her morning and Aunt Diana was there to see her through.

Time for a SONO... Its-A- FOLLICLE or 2 or 8....


 Medicines need adjusting, eggs need to grow faster and prayers need to continue to rise. Her egg retrieval date is quickly closing in. The halfway point. The place she never thought she would be able to get through... But what happens after the retrieval is truly in Gods hands.

Michelle and my Aunt Diana


So, what does this all have to do with a Jewish Queen??

Oh, A lot my friend. You see, The Queen was facing quite a dilemma ( Esther 4: 9-11) One that made her look death in the face. Like Michelle, her small body was rocked with fear.... Her "what if's" took over and the statistics of the outcome were quite clear...

But who did Esther turn to for her crisis?

First, of course, she cried out to The Lord... But then she immediately knew what had to be done...

Her and Mordecai gathered "her people..."

HER VILLAGE...

And together, with prayer, support and faith they journeyed together...

She OVERCAME the most frequent command in the bible....

She OVERCAME FEAR...(Esther 4:12-17)

And this past week... these simple 7 days that just past, Michelle did the same...

And because of it, she changed her storyline and changed her world.

God never ceases to amaze me.... He has such an awesome and supernatural way of interweaving every area of my life together to teach me a lesson... THRU someone else...and in that process, someone else's faith grew... and within that, someone else had an answered prayer. NO ONE would be able to orchestrate such a story but our almighty God!!

A God that holds every star in the sky,  cares about me SO much to forever send me small reminders that HE is ALWAYS there...

God never promises us that a life devoted to him means that we will escape life's troubles.... Many times the faithful are put through the fires.... but HE, in His grace and mercy, lets us grab the hand of a friend who is willing to walk thru that fiery furnace with us...

XoXo,

GiGi




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