Our Thoughts On Halloween

Tomorrow is that dreaded day of the year for us. HALLOWEEN. Im not dreading it for reasons you might think... but for reasons that have never quite been solidified. Im sure as a christian mommy, I am not the only one that has really struggled with this holiday. Please tell me I am not the only one!!!
For years we have gone back and forth on what we should do. We hated Halloween and everything it stands for but in a childs eye its just a day to get candy.
I have heard the arguments before. Pagan this and Devil that. I have argued the points on the Christmas tree and where that originated. Some years I have let the kids dress up and some years I have not.
Once our church started to have a Halloween alternative, the pressure was off! No costumes, pure christian fun. It gave the kids something to do and parents a small reprieve from the sad eyes looking out the windows.
Once we moved and changed churches, they too had a Halloween alternative but with costumes. Oh what to do. There I was, going back and forth, having to change what we have grown used to for so many years.
After much thinking this year, ( and some solid words from Hubby) our decision was finalized. Having older children helped the process along.
I explained to our kids that we will go to church and enjoy all the fun and excitement they will have for us but we will not be dressing up.
"Why why why why why..." echoed in our home.
I explained to them that people who dress up as demons and ghosts and goblins, witches, devils and dead people don't realize the real evil that exists in todays world. I explained how I didn't think glorifying someone who will be spending eternity in hell is fun. They all stayed quiet. They know how important salvation is. We have talked about what happens to people who die and are not saved.
A few days later, Emma had a guest speaker in youth group. It was a fun night, another church came, pizza and soda was served after and Emma got to mingle with some kids from camp that she has not seen since the summer. On the way home , her little voice echoed from the back of the van...
"Mom, can I talk to you about something later? They talked about things in youth that scared me..."
"ok, no problem. Lets just get everyone in bed first..."
My curiosity was exploding! I could not throw those littles under their covers fast enough.
Once the house was settled, hubby and I gave her our full attention.
" The youth pastor was telling us about a girl who was demon possessed...."
She began to tell the story and ask how it happened. Can it happen? To anyone? How real is it? Is the devil around all the time? What are demons? How many are they? Can they ever repent and become christians? Do they realize what hell is??
The questions kept flowing and I tried to answer as best as I could. Her eyes were wide as I tried to be as honest as I could. She was old enough to know most things about the spiritual world.
As our conversation ended I re-iterated how she is protected because she is a child of God. She has His covering as promised in the bible but to keep it, she has to remain close to Him.
As I walked her toward the stairs and off to bed I asked her this simple question...
"Em, now do you kinda understand why Mommy and Daddy don't think Halloween is a great holiday to celebrate? Even though it appears to be fun and great?
"Yes, I get it now..."
We kissed and hugged and off to bed she went.
That was an amazing moment. A brief understanding into each others world. She got it! She understood.
I plan on researching more about Halloween and why its not comparable to the Christmas holiday. An argument thats brought up so many times. For me, even if the Christmas tree came from pagan origin, We still worship the KING OF KINGS ON HIS BIRTHDAY. Who are people glorifying on Halloween? Certainly not Christ.
For me that is the only reason I need.

The Civil War

Monday we started learning about the Civil War. On our last library trip, I stocked up on all the books I could fit into my pink library bag. When I started the intro with my kids, I kept referencing back to this one book called Brown Paper School USKids History: Book of The American Civil War.

Each chapter of the book tells a different story. I don't want to teach just about facts and figures, I want to know about the people who lived and learned during this time. I want to intimately know all about the people who changed history. I want my kids to hear about the silent witness doll at the McLean house and the games once played on the Plantations. They will learn to decipher a spy's journal and make corn husk dolls.

We will try and re-enact the Battle at Bull Run play and bake our own Confederate Johnny cakes.

I was moved at the way Hannah re-told the story monday evening to Hubby about the brothers who fought against each other in the Virginia Woods. She related so much to James and Patrick. I had explained that like the Union was back in 1858, our home was technically divided as well. Some children were born in the south and were Confederate children and some were born as Yankees. We discussed what might have happened if they grew up during the time of the Civil War and how we might have had family members on both sides.

Today we read about a rich little girl; named Sarah, who lived on a plantation in Charleston. She had a slave girl named Hetty and secretly taught her to read. Oh how Sarah got in trouble!!! My kids could not believe something as simple as reading was looked at so horrifying for a slave. Their eyes are being opened to all the injustice this world holds.

We soon will be visiting plantation homes where these stories come to life.

I am so thankful I get to teach my children the history of our country. I get to see their excitement and their wonderment. All these things I would miss if I sent them away. SOme stranger would steal that joy from me.

Just another reason I love homeschooling my children.

Proud Mama

Getting make-up done

Hiding all flesh!!

A quick practice before heading downstairs

My Emma and her entire drama team performed their first human drama video of the year last Sunday night! Their audience was a group home for troubled boys. They all did amazing! I have it all on video and when I figure out how to upload it, I will share with al of you. Their drama leader also gave a great message which hopefully touched the lives of all who sat and watched. I was so proud of all of them. They worked hard, played hard and pulled together to minister to these youth.

Yes, my other children (future drama students) snuck in on the picture.... one can never start prepping too early!!!

Not Me!

I did not declare today a Saturday simply because I hate mondays and how they feel (or turn the house upside down) No, not me

I did not decided that a fire pit must be bought with the money we are saving for vacation because technically "every time we use it will be like a vacation..." No, not me!

I did not re-spark my insane habit of buying a new outfit for every occasion simply because I wanted too... and then run to Old Navy and buy a few of my favorite shirts all in different colors. NO!!! Not me! ;)

I did not secretly wish my Sunday School video would not get fixed so I could just chat with the ladies around me about nonsense instead of learning about Queen Esther. No certainly NOT ME!!

I did not run out to my van right after my eldest daughter got baptized to shove my face with a delish Mcskillet burrito that hubby bought me and then run back in for service simply because I could not stop thinking about it ALL MORNING. NO NOT ME!!!!

A Harvest Evening

How I wish this was my house! Doesn't this make you just want to crawl in one of those seats with some tea and a great book? This picture describes the atmosphere in my home right now. Today was a perfect harvest day. We picked and carved pumpkins, made and indulged in some home made apple crisp and roasted corn on the fire... a very filled day. Now the house is quieter. The littles are fast asleep upstairs and hubby and the girls are watching their favorite football team score their way to victory. The house is picked up and I can reflect on the day. This was our 2nd year in our Little Red House carving pumpkins. Traditions are being set once again and our roots are slowly setting in. We are getting familiar with the weather patterns, favorite places for Apples and who has the best pumpkins. This certainly is our home.

Tonight the air is crisp and chilled. We have the doors and windows open to enjoy the cold air and are snuggled under warm blankets. I don't want this night to end. It was the perfect fall day...

Pumpkin Time

Off we go! Don't have much time today. We will be packing up the big black van and heading off to get some pumpkins! Upon our return we will indulge in homemade roasted corn, snacks and pumpkin guts!!! What fun will be had in our Little Red House.

Today...

Today was library day for us. It wasn't planned. As I was getting ready, it dawned on me that it has been a while since we all gathered at our local library. So, after our breakfast, we all scrambled to get ready and head toward our favorite world of books. Shamefully, I scrambled thru our stack of membership cards and picked the one with the smallest overdue fee. I know, I know, thats horrible but someone has to support the library... and this is how we do our share.

Front parking was found and we all scrambled in and ran in 6 different directions. My kids love the library. They love the books, the games, the computers and the time away from the school table!

I brought my PINK recycle bag ( and supported breast cancer all in the same day) and just started throwing books in... not just any books though! We finally finished a very long Unit in our US history book. On monday we will start with the Civil War. I plan on spending at least 2 months on this war. Learning about plantation life, slave life, The life of Abraham Lincoln, Harriet Tubman, The underground railroad, The Yankees, the Confederates and so forth. Field trips will be included to some Plantation homes as well. One is scheduled for 3 weeks from now. In the cold... Brrr. But We will have homeschooling friends to keep us warm and cozy! The kids are excited to churn some butter!

I also got a head start on Thanksgiving and checked out almost their whole section. I can't wait to begin reading, cooking and studying Pilgrim life (again) for the month of Novemeber... My favorite time of year!

The older girls picked out a few books as well and were happy as little sunflowers with their new choices.

Today in our Little Red House, we will declare a reading day. We will read the new books we have, we will welcome the gray rain that is about to fall upon us and be thankful for unexpected trips to the library for library day!

Prayer...

I was in church one sunday morning when a dear friend of the family and my Sunday School teacher handed me a pink envelope before sitting in her pew. I was very pregnant with Abigail, so as worship started and everyone began to rise and sing, I opted to remain seated while I opened the letter. As my eyes read each word, tears started streaming down my face. The letter was written about my grandmother who had passed away years earlier. This woman and my grandmother were friends for many years. Thinking back, as a little girl, I remembered seeing her occasionally at my Mama's house.

She described to me what an amazing woman my grandmother was and how her favorite scripture was 3 John 4

" I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth."

I continued to read as she wrote how it was a privilege to be able to teach her granddaughter (me) and how proud my Mama would be if she were able to see from heaven the woman I have become and the family I have.

I never knew my grandmother as an adult. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's when I was 12 years old and rapidly declined from there.

I was so moved from that letter that I had to remove myself from service to get my bearings. This was the first time I have cried about my Mama since her death in 1999.

That verse has stayed with me since. As I was filling out this years homeschool goals for each of my children, this verse was what came to mind. No matter what I teach them, how many fractions they simplify or antonyms they can think of... none of these matters more than their eternal destiny. This is my goal. This is my hope for them as I teach them this year.

Im committing my children to prayer. That their eyes are opened. That they see God for who He is and they have a relationship with Him.

My prayer for them in all they do is to display the character qualities we study in every day life. That their joyful attitude and selflessness displays the love of Christ.

My prayer for them this year is to grow closer to Jesus and to realize that the world is so much bigger than them and the latest Wii game.

My prayer for them is that they will hide Gods word in their heart. Let it be something that NO ONE can ever take away from them. May it be something they think about during the day and sing about at night.

My prayer for them is to be certain that no matter what this life brings thru the years, no matter what happens, we will all be together again in Heaven.

This is my prayer.

Wasn't She A Beauty?? (notice past tense reference?)

Yes, you can say it... she is beautiful. Last week it was mid-October and my rose bush still had fresh new growth and blooms. My morning glories still wrapped around my front porch, my butterfly bush was bigger than me and blooming. If you walked along the side of my Little Red House you would see my elephant ears higher than the sky. In the backyard my climbing brown eyed susans covered my white lattice. My fall veggie garden was prospering and more elephant ears covered the side of my screen porch.... until Sunday night. I woke up Monday morning to shrieks of joy.

"MOM IT SNOWED LAST NIGHT.....LOOK..."

In horror, I ran to the window... not to find snow. Something worse in its place. Every gardeners nightmare. Our very first EARLY frost.

As the kids ran amuck on our lawn (barefoot and in pajammies) I cradled my dead flowers in my hands. I went to each and every one and my heart sank. RIght before my eyes they were shriveling up. The leaves turned this weird shade of green and the flowers drooped. I killed them. My lack of weather awareness (the one time I didn't watch the darn weather...) I killed my babies.

I now only have pictures to remind me of how beautiful my gardens were. My Little Red House is now the house of death. I will spend this 75 degree day ( the cold spell passed...) ripping my dear beloved's down from their home. They will be tossed in the trash. My heart will break with every yank and snip. They were my babies. I raised them and watched them bloom to perfection. Yes, Im a bit dramatic but you would be too if you had the cutest and most beautiful Littlest Red House on the block... or did at least, until you killed them all off....

WYFF-TV

Ahh, It feels so good to be back online! My Mac and I were parted for almost a week due to very strange and unusual circumstances... circumstances that I would never want to repeat for as long as I live. But I am back and with so much to fill you in on. Last week was BUSY!! Busy busy busy. GapGirl was on the NEWS! Well, not yet anyway but I will be. I helped film a segment on saving money and couponing. I had the chance to meet this amazing mom and fellow money saver Serena who re-inspired my love of saving grocery money. She taught me some tricks of the trade and helpful shopping hints on how to save at least 50% of my grocery bill. The next day we picked her brain on location! It worked! I was amazed at how little I paid. All the above food for UNDER $25! Lets just say, I won't be buying taco seasoning or snuggle anytime soon.

The whole experience really was awesome. Tim (the reporter) was personable and friendly. My kids, of coarse, came along for the fun too. Perhaps if you watch really closely you can see me bribing them to be quiet with mints and candy from my purse... or me tripping over them as I graciously try to put things in the cart, or me growling at them under my breath to try and look decent, stop fighting, stay out of the cameras way.... or when we had to rip open the box of fruit snacks to keep Abby-girl from screaming. If you listen closely you might hear me (KIDDINGLY) ask Mike the very patient camera man not to get me whacking my children if the situation arises. ( like when Noah and Molly almost went into a full blown wrestling match on the floor.) Or if you happen to see my oldest pouting and slumping, its because she was sick and tired of pretending to walk into the grocery store 3 times for a good shot. And if you really pay attention, you will notice that in ever shot my kids are all in different places. Sometimes Noah is in the cart, in the seat, Abby is walking, Abby is in the cart, Abby is being held by Emma, Hannah, the strange lady who kept following us, Hannah and Emma are dancing around, Molly gets lost... you get the picture.....Yup, thats right, all those fun things that come along with being Mom and being on TV!?

All in all, I don't regret this for a second, even if I forever will be the homeschooling lady who "feeds" her kids boxes of oreo cakesters and mints. I've been called worse. ;). Well, I must be going now. Time to plan my shopping list once again. Time to get the FREE AND THE CHEAP. Be sure to check out Serena's amazing blog and stay tuned for the video footage coming soon!

*some names and video have and will be changed for privacy reasons. As much as I love guests at my Little Red House, Im not too fond of unexpected ones... ;) *

IM LOVED!!!!

A very very kind lady over at PRAISE LIKE DAVID gave little o' me a blog award!! YIPPIE! Thank you so much. I feel so honored. In order for me to accept this award, I must answer these questions and award this back to 6 people!!! Hmmm who should they be???

1. Where is your cell phone? Next to me of coarse
2.Your hair? long and blond
3. Your mother? So not me!
4. Your father? ?
5. Your favorite food? mexican/Italian
6. Your dream last night? nada
7. Your favorite drink? Coffee
8. Your dream/goal? 3 John4
9. What room are you in? Living room
10. Your hobby? Shopping?!!

11. Your fear? too many
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? exactly where I am now but with more kids ;)
13. Where were you last night? relaxing with my hubby
14. Something you aren’t? quiet/meek
15. Muffins? no thanks
16. Wish list item? Granite countertops
17. Where did you grow up? Long Island, NY
18. Last thing you did? Shopped
19. What are you wearing? Uggs,black skirt,black shirt and lime green cardigan (new)
20. Your TV? my secret pleasure
21. Your pets? a fish
22. Your friends? special
23. Your life? amazing
24. Your mood? easy
25. Missing someone? yes
26. Vehicle? big black conversion van
27. Something you’re not wearing? socks
28. Your favorite store? Gap (duh!)
29. Your favorite color? pink
30. When was the last time you laughed? On the phone
31. Last time you cried? Last week
32. Your best friend? Hubby
33. One place that I go over and over? church
34. One person who emails me regularly? You mean FB? Alot

35. Favorite place to eat? kitchen

Now to nominate 6 other very special bloggers!!! This was a tough decision and one I took seriously. I don't randomly hand out awards... after all, I have referred to myself as a blog-snob. So these blogs are ones that are near and dear to my heart. Ones that I take advice from (a serious compliment), ones I go to for a good laugh, ones I read because I miss the author and ones I go to for pure decorating fabulousness.

With no further ado...

1) THE GOLDEN YEARS Melissa blogs about her beautiful family and everything dear to her heart. She is a woman that is devoted to life, her home and God. I am blessed to have become friends with her thru modern technology. Go check her out!

2) THE CHATTY MOMMY... The Chatty Mommy is new to blog wold but not new to me. She is a dear friend from back home who I don't talk to as often as I should. I love her to pieces and hopes this award inspires her to write daily so I feel as if Im in her house, eating bagels with cream cheese, just like the old days. I love you Chatty!!!

3) MY LIFE AS A WIFE... I accidentally stumbled across Amandas blog one day and just fell in love. She is funny and carefree and so darn cute. When I want to forget about the worries of the day, I slip on over to her neck of the woods and smile. She forever keeps you updated on her "babies" her growing closet and her very busy weekends!

4) LETTERS FROM LA LA LAND... is another newer blog I read. The author is a friend from church and a GREAT Daisy teacher to my #3!! I have learned so much from her strong faith in God as she begins a new chapter in her life, buying a home, homeschooling her 2 boys and keeping the memory of her beloved husband alive and present. She is open and honest and raw with her writings. So moving to say the least!

5)SOUTHERN LADY NANCY... has the best house in the south!!! Unknowingly she is teaching me all things southern . I have used her pictures and ideas for many decorating inspirations in my own home. Go take a look at her blog and her fabulous Southern home!!! A TRUE southern home (as I am learning!!!)

and last but not least:

6) RAISING OLIVES... Kim writes about raising, loving, and homeschooling her very large beautiful family. I often look at her blog for amusement, tips, advice and inspiration. Her advice for HS'ing is great!!! Check her out!

There you have it friends.... my 6 awards. I will go now and notify all the lucky winners and post my new prettiful award in my sidebar. What a great way to spend this dreary rainy day. (yes, I know... ANOTHER rainy day)

A Must-Have

I saw this shirt ages ago and laughed and laughed. Its sitting in my "cart" and the moment I am able to... I will hit purchase. Isn't it the funniest??? The great thing is, I really believe that is my motto...GASP! (hee hee)

XoxoGapGirl...

Whats Missing?

Little Miss Molly finally lost her very 1st tooth Sunday... in church! Thus began her long obsession with the tooth fairy.

"How big is she...?"

"Does she lift the pillow?"

"Do I have to be asleep?"

"Will I wake up?"

"When does she come...?"

"How does she know I lost a tooth..?"

"Where does the tooth go?"

"Where does she live?"

"Will she wake up Abby?"

"If Abby wakes up can you come get her?"

"Can I sleep in your bed?"

"Will you leave the door open?"

Whoever said these cute little traditions were so nice, obviously didn't have an overly anxious little girl.

The next morning, the dollar was carried proudly through the house. All day! To the store, to the bathroom, at the dinner table. It never left her little hands. I guess the questions were worth it. ;)

Where Oh Where Have I been???

I must admit, I have been a bit on a blog-cation. Not on purpose mind you, My mind has just been on other things... solely focused (obsessed perhaps) and my mind does not allow me to multi-task sometimes. Perhaps its the over-flow of coffee in my system or the very wet,cold rainy day we are having today? Whatever the reasons are, I assure you, I will return soon. With happy posts, cheerful news and all the latest happenings in our Little Red House. In the meantime, I will continue to pick out paint colors for the downstairs powder room and the upstairs BIG girls room. I plan on having the "hot pink" portion of their room painted this weekend. We have a big camping trip coming up for my oldest, her dad and the entire youth group. Up to the mountains they will go! Hiking, fire-starting and bear watching. I, of coarse, will be happily left at home in my warm bed, modern appliances and yummy food. I will look forward to their return, their stories, pictures and dirty laundry.

Our church pig-picking is coming up soon. I will happily feast on delicious pork and my kids will run amuck on the inflatables that will be there. The holidays are around the corner, and our big surprise vacation is also coming up faster than we can imagine. Our lips are still sealed until the big day. I will sure to be posting along the way with clues, give-aways and contests. Perhaps a game of "where in the world is GapGirl" will be played!!! Lots of ideas roaming thru my head. Until then, I hope the fog lifts from my brain, prayers are answered, the sun returns and Fall is welcomed with open arms. Until next time...

Xoxo GapGirl

Preacher Molly

So sweet. My #3 was preaching the word of God to #4 and #5. Hubby and I were chatting in the kitchen and #2 was in our room using our computer (nothing is sacred anymore=p.) Im not sure where numero uno was but anyway, we heard a very loud authoritative voice. We peeked around the corner and their she was... telling the littles all about Jesus and how He grew up. She held a small pocket bible in her hand and flipped thu it and "read" several passages from it. Hubby and I tried to contain our laughter. It was hysterical... and precious all at the same time. Its so nice to see God in the hearts of our children.

From Created To Be His Help-Meet

" The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God not be blasphemed"

Titus 2:3-5

Over the last several years I have asked hundreds of women, "can you tell me the eight things God requires of a woman, which if she does not obey she will be guilty of blaspheming God's Word"? Most women responded with a blank look, not having a clue as to the answer.

God told the Older women to teach only one message. It is found in Titus 2. The next section of this book covers these eight important things.

Taken from the book "Created To Be His Help-Meet" By Debi Pearl

An amazing book...

Fun Times...

Im trying to teach my 5 yo the days of the week, not just repeating them but knowing their placement on a calendar. After many many recommends from friends, I made it to the teacher store near me. First, let me just tell you I was overwhelmed... and second.. it was awesome!!! Anything a teacher could want, they have. Of coarse, me being a small homeschooling family of 7, most of the packages and pretties were just not practical for our little red house. For once small split tiny minute second, I wished I had a "classroom" for my kids to decorate. Thankfully that feeling passed and I was able to look around with new eyes. (i'll get into my big anti-creating a classroom in the home theory another time...)

I did manage to buy a great removable calendar for right underneath our wipe off board. Molly was so thrilled to help me set it up tonight. All of the 3 littles were... but Molly, being the "big girl" actually got to help me punch out the million little cards. The calendar was quickly assembled and ready. With my help, she filled out the today chart ( the day of the week and the weather for today) and off to bed they went. While walking with hubby up the stairs, I heard her say...

" Daddy, I can't wait for tomorrow..."

"Why? because you want to fill out your today chart again..." said Hubby...

"YUP" replied Molly with such assurance in her voice!

I plan on going back for more charts and maps as soon as our lessons call for them. I might even revise my chore chart with a pre-printed one. All in due time, my chore chart has worked so well, im not sure change would be good!

In the meantime, I will continue working with Molly while she learns her days of the week and months of the year. This wall chart will help so much and will provide many mornings of fun.... if only I can keep other tiny hands off of it. Perhaps a trip to my office supply store is close at hand. Lamination and velcro is in my future!

My Long Awaited Book Review

A few months ago, I blogged about finding THIS incredible book at my favorite HS country book store... "Created To Be His Help Meet" by Debi Pearl. Since my finding, I have casually blogged about the book and sang its praises. (You can read my other writings about this book under the book topics in my sidebar.)

Finally, I am done! I am able to give my review. Actually, I cringe at saying Im done, because technically I am not! This is a book I will forever reference to and forever read. I don't think I can ever be done. This book has left an impression on my heart and in my marriage that I will never forget.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who is married, getting married or know someone who is engaged. In todays "All about me" society, this book is a bitter pill to swallow. In the current days of roaring women who demand to be heard and rule, this book will be nothing but a hard slap in the face. But beneath the cover of this book lies basic biblical principles on a fulfilling marriage and a glorious Christ centered life.

Sometimes some things were hard to read. I grew up in an age where women should have everything, do nothing and rule. A generation of confusing, twisted and soul wrecking advice which now leaves thousands of women in unhappy marriages. Our souls fight with our God given desires and decades of deceiving wisdom.

Although, I have always considered myself an "old fashioned" kinda wife, I was still able to learn so much from Debi's honest advice. I cringed when I read many mistakes I was guilty of. I took note of them and will pray until I change.

I loved her description of Adam and Eve and the roles they were designed for. So beautiful and TRUE!

No one sex was demeaned or exalted but showed Gods perfect design during creation

Sin of coarse came in and threw a wrench in the plan, but with prayer, Godly submission and throwing out all the junk this world fed you ll your life, true freedom can be established.

I have learned that loving my husband and family is the upmost important role I could ever have. I have re-kindled the love I have for my home. I have committed to being a keeper at home, filling my walls with love and prayer. In my eyes, nothing compared to my husband. He is praised at the gates of his home, even in his faults, my children will see me love him.

My role as a help-meet is not considered work, but a privilege handed to me. I will bring up my children the same way. My home is our haven, a safe place from the world where warmth, love and food can be found.

My home is a refuge for my husband and my children. My heart is fixed in my home. I have re-committed being a keeper here, not just abiding here but making it a home.

I re-committed my help-meet role to my husband. He leads our family and I am his "advisor." I seek to help him guide our family and will respect him in that position. I am privileged to find protection under his shield and no one else's. My eyes are turned towards my responsibilities instead of wandering aimlessly around. Idleness is not found in our home. My trust is in my God and my husband. My life is found in His, his dreams have become mine. His goals and plans for the future are what I will strive for. Two became one, and one cannot be separated. There is no "I" in we and no "me" in us.

" A Home is not a home unless the lady is there making it a home..."

When people pass my home on the street, I want them to know that love abides there... I want them to see the love emanating from the windows and doors.

Look up these verses for great Biblical references used in this book:

Colossians 3:18

Titus 2:3-5 (these passages alone are taught in several chapters of the book. So important)

Proverbs 31:10-31

1 Timothy 5:14

Oh Happy Fall...

Oh how Im loving this fall weather. It has not been above 80 all week, the breeze is abundant and my central air is OFF!!! The nights are chilly, yes, I said chilly!! and the mornings are very very crisp. This week, we will be blessed to have a few days of 60's outside. I will buy more hot chocolate and prepare to make warm and hearty dinners for my family.

As my sunday spagetti sauce simmers on the stove for our "Sunday Sauce" dinner, I am trying to make a list in my head of what all needs to be done to prepare for the coming weeks. My HS planner is in desperate need of attention. Its been 3 days since I have entered information and tests scores. I also need to prepare for the coming week ahead. One day this week will be another "field trip" for us... where we go, only I know ;)!

HDTV has entered our home. Anyone that follows me on facebook or twitter has seen my statuses and knows just what I mean. Not only were we blessed (for free) with HDTV but we also upgraded our dvr to an HD-DVR and moved our former DVR to our bedroom (Oh sweet heaven. Now I can watch my favs AND knit!) Since friday afternoon he has been drilling holes, re-arranging mounts, numbering wires, running up to wal-mart for more wires and playing with the tv. Once an hour you can hear certain phrases such as..." can you believe this picture?" , "I can see the hairs on their legs...", " Oh I can't take this..." and so forth. I will admit HD does have a remarkable quality!

Friday morning the older kids and I had a hands on science lesson by my lab tech who ever so graciously blew/collapsed my left vein. The girls kept me company at my ob/gyn (in the waiting room only!) while I went for some more check-ups and then off we went downstairs to the lab.

The girls insisted on watching and squealed and shrieked as little girls do when they are totally grossed out. I believe Hannah even broke out in sweats a few times and Emma's legs actually got physically weak (they take after me). The kind ( clumsy) woman explained how veins work and what happens when they COLLAPSE! Then patiently explained the process on healing ... something of which my arm needs alot of.

I left with some more pills... prenatals actually. And for the first time ever in any of my pregnancies, I am happily taking them. I usually get too sick to swallow pills and supplement in other ways but since Im NOT pregnant yet, I will happily dose myself up. My other pink pills, I will take at a later time... we will see what happens!

Last night we went to our friends house, fellow GAMECOCK fans.( and Emma's youth workers/drama teachers) We mingled with other GAMECOCK lovers from our church and had the most delicious Taco buffet. A bunch of mexican goodness! My favorite. The football game was on and despite some technical difficulties with ESPN, we WON!! In the meantine we chatted about our children who are all the same ages and set up dowries... Um I mean just talked. Yes, we just talked ;)

By the end of the evening, Emma received permission to go on the youth camping trip up in the mountains and Hubby was persuaded to go to help and have fun. Im looking forward to the pictures. Camping in tents and bears DOES NOT count as fun in my book!

Im looking forward to this week and all that it holds. God has been revealing some really important lessons in my life. I have been committing more time to prayer and bible reading and am enjoying its benefits. I will continue to trust and pray and wait in anticipation for what will be revealed. Until next time...

XoxoGapGirl

Welcome Fall

We welcomed the cool weather last week by having a field trip to a different playground. My kids had never been to this one before but when our big black van pulled up... we invaded!

Its a great "old fashioned" wooden playground that is meant to really spark a childs imagination. Its HUGE! It has secret passages, towers and more towers, stairs, bridges, swings, tires, monkey bars... you name it. All 5 of my kids ran around playing games, making up characters and just being kids. It was great to watch (and join in) I found myself climbing the high towers and overlooking the "kingdom."

Once I was able to coax them across the way, they performed a wonderful hand puppet show for me in the little theatre and played with the musical instruments there.

Pretty soon it was time to pack up our big black van and head back to our little red house. The groans and moans could be heard for miles. I promised them we would return, in the meantime they still chat about the wonderful day they had!

I Remember...

Abby, Me and Baby B.

Apple Picking 2008

Today I remember. It has been one year since we lost Baby B. He wasn't the first baby I lost and he wasn't the last but he was special. He was loved by his family. He was sang to and kissed and rubbed. We loved him for the 14 weeks I carried him.

It was unexpected and shocking. It was sad for everyone. Not a day goes by that I don't think about how old he would have been. 6 months to be exact. He would be smiling, clapping, laughing at his silly siblings and rolling over. We would be buying 8 pumpkins this year instead of 7. We would be hanging one more stocking by the fireplace and I would be changing one more tiny tooshie.

When he left this earth, he took a piece of my heart with him. All my babies did but his piece was a bit bigger.

Thru it all God is good! He got us thru that hard time and continues to carry me thru sad times. I happily know that their will be a huge reunion in heaven. I can't imagine that day. God says there will be no more tears... the happiness must be immeasurable.

I have only one picture of me pregnant with Baby B. I don't like pictures of me pregnant... and have very few of all my pregnancies. That will change. I carry Baby B's ultrasound picture with me. Its in a special place and take it out on occasion but not often.

This picture was taken while Apple Picking in the mountains. It was a happy day. One week before the bad news came.

On the sonogram picture, they said baby B. passed away on this same day.

The staff at the doctors office were wonderful. Remarkable. Sweet. Kind. I was alone. I thought it was just another appointment. They let me stay past closing. I could tell they didn't know what to do.

The nurse from the hospital was great. Her name was Cindy, just like my Sissy. She was funny and great. She was from NY!! We exchanged stories and I thanked God for being so good, even in the little things.

I woke up crying. In a matter of 24 hours I wasn't pregnant anymore. Just the other night we were eating dinner around the table laughing and joking and voting on baby names. It didn't register. How quickly life can change for you.

A few days later I named him. He deserved that. He was a little soul that did live for a brief time. I keep the name to myself and hubby.

For a long while I could not hear a baby cry. I would have to physically stop myself from going up to another woman's crying baby and want to pick her up and rock her. The sound would hurt my soul so deep. Sometimes I would just have to get up and leave.

One year has past but my heart still hurts from the loss. Life goes on and we are again stepping out in faith, praying that God will gracefully bless us with another healthy baby. I smile at people who never know the pain of losing a baby, I pray they never will. I congratulate them. For me, a heartbeat will never be looked at the same. A sonogram means nothing. God alone knows our future. He alone can give us peace.

How silly I was all those years before. Taking for granted the 5 healthy non-complicated pregnancies I had. How fast everything can change. How quickly things can be gone. It was a hard lesson learned!!

I now fall into a category no one understands. I have children, I want more but I can't. I should be happy for what I have. My pain isn't as great as someone who never had a child. I have no reasons for this. How silly those people are.

I read about Hannah in the book of Samuel. I study it, I have books on it. I know the pain she felt as she cried at the temple. I know if Hannah were living today, we would be friends. If she only knew how her life and hurt encourages me centuries later.

So, I will go on and I will be strong. I study the bible, pray for answers and a miracle. I know God has a reason for everything and as much as I would love to know the reasons for these, I just have to trust. This earth is not the end. One day, in heaven, we will all be together again. One B-I-G happy family. My heart will be whole and I will get to know all my children that left me way too soon.

Baby B announcement

One Year Ago

Thank You